Family means different things to different people. Idealistically, I don’t know what the ideal family would look like. Every family is different. If I had a guess, it would be one that is able to unite despite each member’s shortcomings and works together to reach mutual understanding and agreement. There is no one universal definition of every family. One example is China where children are raised separately from their father or mother, but still considered a family.
There are many variations of modern family structures, even non-traditional ones. There are many options, including single-parent households, blended families and unrelated people living together, as well as gay couples. Family guidelines have not kept up with the changing lifestyles of modern times. Family life is shaped by different social orders. Family values are defined by the society or culture they belong to. This could be dealt with in many ways, but the most common are behaviorally, intellectually, and cognitively. Our families are bombarded with recommendations for what they want and need that we might not be capable of paying for. These options include schooling options, housing, shopping choices, places to visit, and how much we can afford to spend on these things. The family might make more informed decisions about how to spend their money if this constant exposure was not present.
If education, spirituality, and material acquisition hold certain values, they can help shape the family’s beliefs. While society is important for forming family identity, it also influences how one’s family represents themselves and their sense of self. If society offers us a better quality life where our qualities are valued, we’d be very thoughtful about how society will evolve and the role we should play in it. We would also consider how we could improve our social status. This could include identifying benchmarks, logical bases, and current research that would allow us to make our environment both qualitatively as well as quantitatively adequate.
Society affects us psychologically because of the dynamic divisions between individuals and groups that are based on our preferences, race/language, commonalities, religion, or ethnicity. If the culture is different than yours, you’ll choose to either be part of it or withdraw from it. Even though the latter isn’t the most likely choice, there’s a good chance that regardless of how independent you live, you’ll still learn a few mannerisms. Family life can also be influenced by society’s varied views on what is and/or should be. Families have a tendency to make strong judgments for or against the various representations of what is and/or what should. The family will have to decide whether it will accept the society’s judgement or whether it will rebel and embrace that behavior.
For example, I was raised in a home with parents who had different values and beliefs than me. This fact alone was a significant obstacle in our family dynamic. Growing up as a child, I was constantly criticized for my differences. It was never easy to fit in with my family. I didn’t have enough of each parent. This caused me to be less close with my family. My parents were abused, addicted, and divorced, and I came from a broken family. They still struggle to understand each other after almost five years of separation. Being the oldest of four children I’ve known, I’ve always been the one to bear all the pain and emotional distress of those around me. My dad, being conservative and out of fashion, has put a huge wedge between us. My mother is the exact opposite and better at understanding my need to dress differently to what is acceptable for me or allow me to create holes wherever I want.
This was socially acceptable because it allowed me to express myself creatively without causing harm to others. My father, however, was not so fortunate. He was raised in a southern culture and had a narrower view of acceptable behavior.
Intellectually, the family dynamic of my family is very similar to what I described. There are four generations total at the moment. It seems that, except for a handful of people, the older I get, the more closed-off or less receptive I am to other people. My parents had very different childhoods. The parent raised in strict Christian homes with strong values and the obligation to conform to elders is one side. There is also the parent who was raised by one parent and struggled to mature as a kid because they did not have any support. This was a significant factor in their adulthood and how they raised their children. Although both their parents were involved in creating their family dynamic, the changes in society made it more complicated. One example would be my mother’s need for material possessions. As a child, she didn’t have the luxury to eat well or have the best materials. She still invests time and effort in finding the newest gadgets or clothes, as well as the latest dishes. My dad is a minimalist and will only do what’s necessary, but my mom insists on following the rules and following the example of others. This was a major factor in the separation of my parents.
My two households were very different financially. As I recall, my mom loved presentation. Her motto was always “If there is will, there are ways.” My father, on the other hand, is reserved. My father is very reserved. He believes that only those who are considered and maintain higher social status can have certain things. But there are always obstacles that he has not been able to overcome. I went to college in a foreign country as an example. While everyone was financially aware that my tuition would not be affordable, my mom opened up to the possibility and idea that I would need loans to support my lifestyle and to get a good education. My family was very negative about me leaving home. This is contrary to what most would believe. They were raised to believe that you should not risk your financial future, even if it meant a better outcome.
Families are an essential part of society. It is often overlooked how important our social environment and upbringings can have on our daily lives. Our daily lives are shaped by society on three levels: intellectually, financially, and behaviorally. This essay is a complete reflection of my thinking. I believe socially, our desire to be accepted or to feel part of something is probably the most important factor in determining what society considers acceptable. Everyday, there are new things. It is our duty as human beings to be open-minded and flexible, but also to remain true to ourselves.
